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Loneliness is a pervasive issue affecting young adults today. Recent studies indicate that approximately 30% of individuals aged 18-34 experience feelings of loneliness on a daily or weekly basis. This troubling statistic was the focus of a recent series of continuing education webinars hosted by The Dorm, an IOP/PHP treatment community for young adults in New York City and Washington, D.C.
Austen Riggs Center Clinicians Dr. Katie C. Lewis, Dr. Erin Seery, and Dr. Seth Pitman were hosted by The Dorm’s Chief Clinical Officer Dr. Amanda Fialk for a two-part virtual event that highlighted this crisis and aimed to spark dialogue around loneliness and its impact on young adults. With over 1,400 registrants from across the nation, the topic drew tremendous engagement across our community and illuminated the complexities of loneliness in a therapeutic setting, the challenges young adults face today, and what therapists should keepin mind while approaching symptoms of loneliness with their clients.
The following post highlights key moments from the event, and we invite you to watch or listen to the entirety of the presentation on YouTube.
Part 1: Young Adults & Social Connectedness with Dr. Katie C. Lewis
Understanding “Loneliness” in a Therapeutic Context
Dr. Katie Lewis began her presentation by emphasizing that loneliness is a natural human experience.
However, when loneliness becomes chronic and debilitating, it can have long-term detrimental effects on mental and physical health. Studies show that prolonged loneliness can impair cognitive function, disrupt sleep patterns, and even increase the risk of premature death on par with the risk of smoking.
Defining loneliness, Dr. Lewis referred to the work of Dr. Louise Hawkley and Dr. John Cacioppo, who describe it as “a distressing feeling that accompanies the perception that one’s social needs are not being met by the quality or quantity of one’s social relationships.” This definition underscores the significance of social connection as a fundamental human need that shouldn’t be overlooked in a medical context.
The Role of Social Connections in Young Adulthood
Dr. Lewis's presentation highlighted how meaningful relationships play a critical role in mitigating feelings of loneliness. She also emphasizes how emerging adults often find themselves in transitional life stages—completing education, starting careers, and forming romantic relationships—that can make them vulnerable to feelings of loneliness while navigating the complexities of their changing social worlds.
During these transitions, the absence of fulfilling social connections can lead to heightened feelings of loneliness—and young adults also may lose sight of the fact that the quality over quantity of relationships during this stage is important for mental health. However, for some young adults, it may be more difficult to form meaningful relationships because of their attachment style.
Dr. Lewis highlighted her ongoing research surrounding the link between symptoms of loneliness and attachment styles, which shows that those with secure attachment styles—rooted in positive early relationships—are better equipped to forge strong social connections and cope with the challenges of emerging adulthood. Conversely, those with insecure attachment styles may find themselves caught in a cycle of disconnection, leading to feelings of isolation.
The Pandemic’s Influence
Dr. Lewis also confirmed and highlighted that her research shows how the COVID-19 pandemic has further exacerbated feelings of loneliness among young adults. Many young adults missed significant milestones and social opportunities, which can often be developmental milestones and opportunities to have meaningful experiences with loved ones. However, Dr. Lewis noted that reconnecting with communities post-pandemic has led to positive changes in well-being for many individuals in her practice.
Dr. Lewis highlighted how, as people began to engage in group activities once again, those who sought social interactions experienced improved mental health outcomes. This emphasizes the potential for recovery through social reintegration and support systems. (As an illustrative description, Dr. Lewis described a case in which her client has gained support and healing through a weekly Dungeons and Dragons meetup.)
Part 2: Young Adults & Social Connectedness Today with Dr. Erin Seery and Dr. Seth Pitman
Therapeutic Approaches to Combat Loneliness
In the second part of the presentation, Dr. Erin Seery and Dr. Seth Pitman discussed therapeutic strategies for addressing loneliness. They emphasized that loneliness is not just a symptom but a complex emotional experience that needs to be considered from multiple perspectives.
Dr. Seery highlighted the need to explore the gap between one’s desired and actual levels of social connection. For example, she explained, clients often experience fear or anxiety related to their mental illness or symptoms, which can hinder their ability to engage with others. By helping clients articulate these feelings and see life beyond them, therapists can facilitate deeper discussions that demystify the experience of loneliness.
“Loneliness as a Human Urge”
One way to encourage clients to not feel shame around their loneliness, Dr. Seery explained, is viewing loneliness as a biological urge, akin to hunger. Just as hunger prompts individuals to seek food, loneliness motivates the search for social connection. However, the challenge lies in identifying relationships that fulfill emotional needs. Dr. Seery advocated for destigmatizing loneliness by recognizing it as a basic human experience, making it easier to address in therapeutic settings.
Dr. Pitman added that once clients accept that loneliness is a normal human experience, therapists can go on to encourage them to take incremental steps towards re-establishing social connections. This may include setting realistic goals for social engagements, exploring ignored interests, and participating in community activities that align with their values.
The Role of the Therapist in Treating Loneliness
Erik Erikson’s “Trapeze Artist” and the Role of the “Receiver”
During his presentation, Dr. Seth Pitman referenced Erik Erikson’s metaphor of the “trapeze artist” to explore loneliness within the context of emerging adulthood—a time marked by uncertainty, self-discovery, and significant life transitions. Erikson is also the core inspiration for the Austen Riggs Center’s Erikson Institute, a center for education, research, and mental health advocacy, which helps clinicians, educators, researchers, and scholars understand and respond to problems individuals, groups, and society face.
Dr. Pitman references a quote from Erikson describing the vulnerable period of young adulthood:
“Like a trapeze artist, the young person in the middle of vigorous motion must let go of his safe hold on childhood and reach out for a firm grasp on adulthood, depending for a breathless interval on a relatedness between the past and the future, and on the reliability of those he must let go of, and those who will “receive” him… [and] he must detect some meaningful resemblance between what he has come to see in him-self and what his sharpened awareness tells him others judge and expect him to be.” -Dr. Erik Erikson
Dr. Pitman draws on this imagery to explain that the therapist’s role is similar to that of a “receiver.” Establishing trust early in the therapeutic relationship—often within the first sessions or even minutes—is critical. Once trust is built, therapists can begin exploring the underlying thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that contribute to each client's experience of loneliness.
“Loneliness is a deeply human experience. It's not something that we just want to treat away entirely. Instead, our goal as clinicians and therapists is to understand its nuances and help patients uncover aspects of their loneliness that may be outside of awareness, so that they can try out new approaches, or have greater access to capacities that already exist within themselves, but that they previously felt were off-limits or out of reach,” explained Pitman.
In essence, therapists guide clients to define and understand their loneliness more clearly, providing them with tools to explore new ways of addressing their symptoms.
Identifying Barriers to Connection in Therapy
As Dr. Pitman emphasized that therapists play a key role in uncovering what stands in the way of connection, he outlined several key considerations for clinicians who are having trouble forming an authentic connection with their young adult client:
- Addressing Cognitive Distortions and Social Anxiety: Therapy and medication can help clients manage these obstacles, enabling healthier, more fulfilling social relationships. They can also break down barriers for more productive therapy with the clinicians.
- Understanding the Societal Context of Loneliness: Systemic barriers, institutional dynamics, and societal pressures can also contribute to isolation. Therapists must remain mindful of their own biases and authority, fostering an inclusive and supportive therapeutic environment and helping clients build skills to overcome the systemic barriers to connection they may be facing. (For example, if they are the only person of color in an organization or school system.)
Beyond Individual Therapy
Dr. Pitman went on to highlight the importance of group-based interventions for treating loneliness, particularly within intensive outpatient programs (IOPs). Group work is a key step in helping young adults develop interpersonal skills and navigate social connection, while practicing openness, honesty, and vulnerability in a safe setting.
Key group offerings at the Austen Riggs Center Online IOP for clients struggling with symptoms of loneliness include:
- Resilience through Relationship: A process group focused on improving the quality of interpersonal connections.
- Yoga and Mindfulness: Designed to combat Zoom fatigue and reconnect participants with their physical selves in a fun group setting.
- Skills within Stories: A coping-skills group aimed at fostering emotional resilience.
Dr. Pitman and Dr. Erin Seery further emphasized the importance of integrating somatic practices, movement, and in-person connection as part of online IOP treatment plans to support holistic healing.
The Correlation Between Friendship & Symptom Reduction
Chief Clinical Officer of The Dorm, Dr. Amanda Fialk, joined the discussion to address a common challenge for their young adult clients—resistance to group traditional therapy groups within treatment. She cited research from The Dorm, which shows a strong correlation between self-efficacy and friendships formed during treatment (whether those friendships are made in groups or in social clubs that are much more casual).
“Some of our clients resist traditional treatments like DBT because they’ve done them so many times. What our research shows is that focusing on connection—through community involvement or social activities—can lead to significant improvements. Joining a social group, playing pickleball, or participating in a club can lead to corrective emotional experiences and improved connections,” said Dr. Fialk.
She highlighted how social engagement, such as joining a group, participating in a sport like pickleball, or becoming involved in a club, can provide meaningful emotional experiences.
Hope for a Socially Connected Future
One key takeaway from this event is that the loneliness epidemic among young adults is a multifaceted issue that can’t be attributed to one cause. As Dr. Lewis highlighted in her portion of the presentation, each case is, however, deeply intertwined with attachment styles, social dynamics, and developmental transitions in young adulthood. While the consequences of chronic loneliness are severe, understanding its underlying causes and implementing effective therapeutic strategies provides our therapeutic community enormous hope for a future where young adults are equipped with the skills to build life-long resources for community involvement, productive and positive relationships, and a balanced life of connectedness and independence.
By prioritizing community-building and individualized care that destigmatizes loneliness, mental health professionals can help young adults navigate loneliness, fostering healthier relationships and enhancing their overall quality of life. Addressing this epidemic will not only benefits individuals but strengthen our communities as a whole.