On Curiosity: Intrapsychic and Interpersonal Boundary Formation in Family Life

Shapiro, Edward R. M.D.

In my research and clinical work with families in interaction, one trait stands out as a hallmark of psychological health. Its absence in pathological families is profound; its cultivation as an element of treatment is critical; and the reasons for its development, or lack of it, are perplexing. This element is interpersonal curiosity.

In my experience, families whose members manifest major character pathology demonstrate a striking lack of curiosity about one another. Instead, these family members are often extraordinarily certain that they know, understand, and can speak for the experience of other family members without further discussion or question. The infrequent attempts on the part of individuals within such a family to challenge this certainty are regularly met by bland denial, unshakable conviction, or platitudinous reassurance. Despite the fact that this pathological certainty is usually incorrect and frequently leads to stereotyped arguments and escalating disagreements within the family, it is difficult to interrupt. My various attempts to understand this phenomenon and its origins are the sources of this paper.

Download File: (Download entire article)