Joining a Group's Task: The Discovery of Hope and Respect

Shapiro, Edward R. M.D.

When engaged with others in tension-filled dialogue, the temptation is for us to treat the other disrespectfully by unconsciously choosing an exclusive subgroup in our minds to belong to, and assigning the other to a devalued group. Unconsciously asserted exclusive membership allows us to deny the ways in which, by disconnecting the other, we are also alienating parts of ourselves. Using three stories, the author explores the notion of unconscious group membership and raises the possibility of discovering a shared membership in the midst of conflict. Internalized shared group membership can constitute a mediating "third " to a dyad in apparent opposition. The shared internal context both contains and defines the pair within a task and set of values that can be used to transcend apparent conflict.

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